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Book Quotes Judgement Leadership Legacy

Eckhart Tolle New Earth

Just finished reading this life changing book. Understanding ego, how it works and why we get ourselves into situations where we are unhappy. https://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963

Our ego is our identity, without it we believe we are nothing. The reality without it we are happy people who can be present. So how does ego show up?

Eckhart Tolle uses examples and stories, that help you recognise where ego gets in the way of happiness.a new earth

Our image of ourselves is derived through where we live, the car we drive, the gym we join, telling others who we know, our celebrity encounters, what we know, our experience, qualifications and the list goes on. We believe we need these to be successful, but what is success if you get there are you are having no more fun!

“Nonresistance, nonjudgement, and non attachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.” Summarised beautifully by Eckhart.

These are articles previously written on the topics:

How quickly can you forgive?

What am I working on? Judgement

The five levels of attachment

This is a book on spirituality and is not a religious book. There are references to religion only.

Further reading on Ego is the enemy of good leadership by Rasmus HougaardJacqueline Carter. https://hbr.org/2018/11/ego-is-the-enemy-of-good-leadership?utm_medium=email&utm_source=tgr_newnlsignup&utm_campaign=nlconfirm_mtod_notactsub_v20191101&deliveryName=DM60315

 

Categories
Coaching Influence Leadership

To be an effective leader you need to slow down

Words I have heard many times. For many years I thought that I was productive and a great leader. On reflection the failings of working at speed are many, here are a few:

  • slow downDon’t listen properly
  • Don’t take time to connect with others. John Maxwell in Great leaders ask great questions refers to his lack of awareness regarding connecting with others. https://www.amazon.com/Good-Leaders-Ask-Great-Questions-ebook/dp/B00I829QJ8
  • Don’t take others on the journey
  • Impossible to collaborate when you are going at 90 miles an hour and often have reached the decisions before others
  • You are seen as rushed, as if you have no control
  • Take away from your team as you often taken on too much, when the team can benefit

How do you break the cycle?

  • Take time off and delegate projects whilst you are away. When you get back progress will be made without you.
  • Once back continue to delegate more and more.
  • On the balcony, on the dance floor a key to adaptive leadership. Spend time thinking strategically about the overall organisation not just your area!
  • Ask others to hold you accountable if you are in
  • Work from home, so you are not call and the team supports each other, rather than coming to you as default

When you break the cycle of speed, you empower you team and you are far more effective leader. You create better connections inside and outside the organisation which leads to better collaboration and more success.

 

 

Categories
Leadership Mentoring Personal development

Looking in the mirror

look-mirror

In the last few years I have been in situations where I am with someone who has exhibited the same behaviour as me,  not a good behaviour,  I look on in horror as I have a ‘ahah’ moment.  This has happened many times in the last few years, but never happened before that point.  The first time was a women who came in for an interview. She was gregarious and laughed loudly at her own jokes.  I froze thinking is that the impact I have? Wow there is work to do!  I have toned down that side of my personality and it has made a difference.

Yesterday I was listening to a colleague vent on the same topic he has being going on about for weeks, repeating themselves and as I listened I knew that is me. Wow is that the impact I have… I have some serious work to do. I am still reflecting on the impact and how I can change my behaviour.  We all vent, but repetitive vents are time consuming for the receiver and show no leadership or recognition of failure.  When we vent, what I am observing is where we fail to influence. Influence is a key skill for any leader.  So now when I catch myself venting or repeating frustrations, to take a breath, ask what am I going to do differently no one is interested in your venting!

What I don’t understand is why I have never noticed this until relatively recently. My reflection is that I am now centred in others and not myself and that transition has made the difference.  When we are centred in ourselves we are not actively listening or present, that shift has allowed me to listen and be present, leading to another level of awareness and some of the best leanings.

Self awareness is a lifelong journey.