Tag: Comfort zone

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Personal development

Gail Kelly Live Lead Learn

Thanks to Sue Davies for the loan of this book. Read in less than a week which is totally unusual for me! What a great read. Inspiring and humble.

She is open and honest about her challenges, but more importantly her vision and clarity of what was needed to change the banks is inspirational and exceptionally perceptive. Every CEO needs to have spent time in front line customer situations, without that experience business is too inwardly focused.

Her grasp of the challenges for bank tellers led her to restructure the banks to be centred around the customer and not the internal needs of business. Trust is king and you cannot build trust with your customers if you don’t listen.

In her book Gail quoted “I really battled to have commonsense changes imbedded. I encountered lots of ‘Yes, Minister’ behaviour with the team hoping my attention would move to other things and their lives would return to normal.

In my experience too often leaders are too busy “spraying the next initiative” to follow up and employees become fatigued and realise that they are better to lie low. Persistence in the same goal is uncommon, as when there is not gratification in an outcome, execs move on. The difference with Gail was it was imbedded in her personal values, she was never going to move on, until the customer was served in the way she needed them to be.

I loved Gails honesty about dropping the ball on a number of issues, just because she did not have the bandwidth to manage. Her openness is very refreshing and for anyone who is juggling a lot of conflicting priorities it is not surprising.

Her husband Allan was a rock, but also someone who encouraged Gail to step up with every opportunity and did his fair share around the home.

This is a book that inspires, in spite of Gail’s upbringing in South Africa during apartheid, she has tremendous humility and ability to seek out the truth. She never stops learning and that is something that is important to me today. A must read, regardless of you career, there are so many important life lessons in this brilliant read.

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Collaberation Collaboration Communication High Performing Teams Leadership Personal development

Contact your peers weekly

Throughout my career I have focused on my team more than my peers or other stakeholders. Connecting regularly with your peers (who work for the same leader) not just in meetings is critical for you, your team and wider teams success.

I am not advocating for scheduled sessions, but a phone call to check in and say hi and are you Ok? Is there anything you need help on?

It means a lot to show your peers you care and you are there for them. It also builds rapport and trust, which are essential to support the performance of the team.

Other opportunities to build rapport with your peers who report to the same leader:

Over the last 12 months I have been challenged with support of a certain role and each time I have called on my peers and they have been keen to help. Make sure also that you thank them publicly so they know you appreciate their support.

Your peers are great as accountability partners, helping you to stay on track with your goals. This is great way to work together and build rapport.

Catching up as a group without your boss is also a great way to build the trust and support for each other. Let your boss know, and let them know you want to take away some of the noise by landing key decisions as a team. Also run monthly people only session with your peers to talk about Vacancies, Paternity leave, Talent, bench strength across the business, training, leave and much more. Again this is something you can do without your boss and just share the minutes.

Building relationships with your peers is critical to the business success. Just looking at your own team will not demonstrate leadership, make the time for your peers.

Other sources on this topic https://workbravely.com/blog/from-our-coaches/peer-working-relationships/

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Coaching Communication Personal development

Good News Angela

Good news information alert from hand with megaphone or loudspeaker vector illustration, flat cartoon announce notification sign

Important lesson from a Dale Carnegie trainer over 2 decades ago.

When coaching one of my team members regarding communicating good news first, before landing less favourable messages, I was taken back to my twenties.

It was when I attended a 12 week Dale Carnegie class that followed the book “how to win friends and influence people”, the trainer Keith set me a personal challenge to be known as “good news Angela”.

It meant I had to change the fact based communication to fun, exciting and happy words. The transition was easier than imagined and it truly transformed how my colleagues viewed me.

How I made the change? Any win, new breakthrough, insight, media info relating to customers or industry related, team win, individual team member success, other teams success make sure you talk about it in a energetic, enthusiastic tone. Make it a daily habit and transform your communication.

When we communicate bad news too often or our perception of bad news, executives switch off. You become someone no wants around, so finding the gems of news and communicating regularly and enthusiastically will transform how you are viewed.

When there is less pleasant news to communicate it is less common and not the only thing coming out of your mouth, which means you have the ears of the executive.

How do you become “good news NAME”?

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Personal development

Showing anger as a leader

Once a leader shows anger or aggression, there is no psychological safety. Trust is 0.

Rebuilding trust is a long road.

There is no place in modern leadership for anger or aggression. Compassion and focus on the person needing the help is essential to building high performance.

If I have feedback, I always ask the team member to think about what they will do differently? What will be the trigger?. I ask them to spend 0 time on ruminating the event as it is emotionally draining and unhelpful. Instead focus on the long term solution.

My tone is always curious, non judgemental and supportive of the learning. I also want to understand what the trigger is for the person, so I can help them in the future.

If you are angry as a leader, reflect on your ego because anger is a reflection of you.

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Personal development

CEO Sleepout

10 years ago Phil Crenigan encouraged me to raise money and awareness for the homeless.  The evening of the sleep out people from all walks of life speak up about the events that led them to become homeless and then the loneliness of homelessness.

Up until that point I would not make eye contact with homeless people, let alone hold a conversation,  that day changed me forever and since then I always say hello and pass the time of day, and often give food or coffee. My judgement has gone and been replaced with a deep understanding of others who are less fortunate.

Over the years of the sleepout I have listened to many stories of people getting themselves into financial difficulty. The stories are confronting, as they are everyday challenges that can impact anyone. it could be you or I.

Last year we had a number of women with Children who were living in cars, to escape domestic violence. The team at Vinnie’s do an amazing job and really make the difference, creating a safe environment for the family.

The work Vinnies do to help people get back on track is outstanding. People who have lost all their ID through walking out of a unsafe situation, this is incredibly complex as all the agencies need ID, Vinnies don’t just help solve this for an individual, but working in conjunction with the Post office and other organisations to remove the complexity and assist in the best way possible. https://auspost.com.au/receiving/manage-your-mail/po-boxes-and-private-bags/free-po-boxes-for-homeless

This is my 10th Year of fundraising and raising awareness for the homeless. Please support by donating:
https://lnkd.in/deJuPv6n

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Book Quotes Coaching Influence Leadership Personal development

You can learn from good and bad bosses.

You can learn from good and bad bosses. None of us are perfect, everyone deserves the best support, if there are behaviours you find offensive, call it out in private.  https://angelalovegrove.com/2020/03/04/taking-responsibility-to-how-we-get-treated/

You can help your boss and they in return will help you. Judgement is the worst human trait. https://angelalovegrove.com/2018/06/04/dont-speak-ill-of-others/

Stay always true to your values. You don’t have to compromise, you need to share what is important to you, so you can build rapport and trust. In return you need to take time to understand the pressure and behaviours that result in your boss’s behaviour. Always seek to understand before being understood, one of my favourite Dale Carnegie sayings. https://angelalovegrove.com/2020/11/24/why-dale-carnegies-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-is-my-all-time-favourite-book/

Personal growth occurs when we push ourselves outside our comfort zone. This is the opportunity to push yourself beyond where you have operated before.

With the open honest feedback about your bosses behaviour, you also get it back in return. This has been some of the most transformative coaching I have received in my career.

You can learn from good and bad bosses

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Personal development

How to make it safe with your boss to give feedback

In my 40 year career I have had bosses that are uncomfortable giving me feedback when asked. The reasons are varied, but its important that you make it safe and support your leader to feel comfortable.

If you have acted defensively in the past, they will be reluctant to share feedback for fear that you will react in the same way.

Here are some tips to help you make it safe for your boss:

  1. Share what you are personally working on with your boss, so they can see you are keen to improve. Share progress on what’s working not working for you and how you are changing your approach.
  2. Share feedback from others on areas you need to focus on. Share who gave you the feedback and what you are doing to address.
  3. Once you have done the above, ask do you have any feedback for me, on areas I need to work on, or anything I have shared already.
  4. When they give you feedback, play back to them what you have heard. Then reflect and say thank you this information is priceless, I will work on this. Then share all the progress, so they can see you demonstrate the self awareness to work on improvements
  5. Use self deprecating humour to show that you don’t take yourself to seriously. May make your boss laugh.
  6. When something does not go to plan, share with your boss what happened and how you plan to turn the situation around. Bad news early

Sharing progress with your boss on your self development journey is vital to your future success and it really helps your boss feel comfortable sharing feedback and observations which are essential for growth

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Personal development

Want to call out the lack of diversity at the exec level

An ex colleague and friend called me re: lack of diversity at the exec level in the organization she recently joined. Her question was on how does she call out the lack of diversity.

The answer is, not advisable to call it out, what is advisable is how you are prepared to help the leaders and HR team to change.

What does that mean?

  1. How do ensure males become the best sponsors for women? This is the single reason for women not getting to the top, as without a sponsor its impossible. Sponsorship is promoting the success and ensuring the failures are learned from in a supportive way. The largest gap is sponsorship of women in their 40’s and 50’s. You can help here by encouraging each senior exec to sponsor a women and then give them the support and coaching. https://angelalovegrove.com/2019/10/07/the-difference-between-a-coach-mentor-and-sponsor/
  2. Most senior men are comfortable coaching younger women. They are more fearful of coaching older women, that fear is how women will react to feedback. The key is here is for women to ensure their bosses know they embrace feedback. Value the time they take to walk through examples where they can improve. Share progress and learnings, so over time your boss enjoys the conversations and enables them to become a better leader. Encourage both parties to have more open dialogue. https://angelalovegrove.com/2020/03/30/feedback-is-critical-for-growth/
  3. Where a senior male leader has not had female leaders on their exec team, broach the subject with HR about getting a coach for the exec. This is a common approach for male execs who know they have difficulty with women to work with a coach to help them overcome their bias, Often the coach needs a women to work with the exec to develop the skills and capabilities. Over a decade ago I was fortunate enough to work for a senior male exec who approached me to work with his coach to help him overcome his bias. I learnt a fortune about what causes the issues for the males and how I could help him.
  4. Ensure your emerging leaders are equipped to lead women. I talk openly about the differences and encourage my female and male leaders to discuss what causes them challenges re: female behavior v;s male behavior’s. Over time they begin to adapt and the females thrive under their leadership. This is critical if we want to change the future for women in the workplace.
  5. Call out privately with individuals bad or poor behavior towards women. I previously had a boss who constantly criticized strong female leaders in front of his leadership team. I was appalled as he did not do this in relation to male leaders. The first few times I stewed over it and then the next time, I pulled him to one side in private that I found his comments offensive and please stop. A couple of times of pulling him to one side did the trick and no more offensive comments in front of me. https://angelalovegrove.com/2020/03/04/taking-responsibility-to-how-we-get-treated/
  6. Don’t judge! None of us are perfect. It’s important to lock the judgement up, you cannot coach or support when you are judging.

All the best with changing the work place and I hope the 6 steps are helpful.

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Personal development

Inspiration

Covid has been challenging for everyone and even the most resilient have had their moments. This story is of two people in late 70s, my Mum and Dad.

In an earlier blog I wrote about the year we travelled in the motorhome around Europe with my husband Andy and our basset hound Harvey. https://angelalovegrove.com/2015/05/31/what-is-your-legacy/

When Andy and I came to Australia to live and work 12 years ago, I left the motorhome for my parents to enjoy. For months it sat on the driveway and then one day they went to stay near some friends they had not seen for over a decade. That trip 12 years ago was one of many across England, Wales and Scotland.

During Covid lockdown in the UK, my parents talked about their next trip to Scotland. For the past 6 weeks they have prepared the motorhome, including habitation checks, new tyres, clearing out the garage (under the fixed bed,) cleaned the solar panels on the roof etc etc. The list goes on.

They left on Thursday for their four week tour of Scotland. To see your parents so excited for an adventure, is inspirational. Tonight they called me on Skype in Australia from Loch Lomond on a mobile data package. They were so happy and the adventure had begun.

The fridge was not working so they had to detour from Gretna Green and Lockaby to meet someone who could fix it. With the fridge fixed they headed for their favorite place in Scotland: Loch Lomond.

On the call, they were full of the stories about their adventure and fun of being on the road. After the locksdowns, its inspiring and fills me with admiration for my parents, that they are fearless in the face of what has been a challenging time.

Mont Saint-Michel, France, 2008

So proud of my parents and their spirit of adventure in a pandemic.

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Personal development

Speaking across people

What do you do when someone constantly speaks across you. This is a common question from mentees, here are the options:

1. Continue talking more loudly so the person trying to talk across you, realises that you are not going to stop.

2. Say politely I have not finished, please allow me to finish.

3. Take the person aside and let them know that the behaviour is unacceptable and let them know how it makes you feel. It’s also important to let them know the conversation is confidential and will go no further.

4. It’s a common practice for certain individuals to say sorry to cut you off and continue speaking. This is the worst behaviour as they are consciously speaking over you. Don’t let them get away with it. Use one of the methods above. Once dealt with they won’t do it again!

4 tips for managing people who speak across you. Make a move and build the respect you deserve