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Judgement Leadership Mentoring

How quickly can you forgive?

forgiveness-300x199How quickly can you forgive?

Many years ago, I could not forgive, I would hang onto situations emotionally where I felt that I was treated unfairly. The situation would play through my mind a million times, always the victim, never once thinking of the other person and what caused them to act in that way. Sometimes I would hear myself bemoaning the individual who had wronged me and hating myself as the words left my lips.  I would then hold that grudge, eating away at me emotionally, but not being prepared to let go.

Taking part in the seven bridges walk in Sydney  many years ago, I was walking with a friend Annet who teaches yoga and meditation. I quizzed her about meditation and how to get started, she said its simple, find somewhere quiet sit on a cushion on the floor, to begin use a wall to prop yourself up, set the timer to 5 mins on your iphone and close your eyes.  We chatted for hours about the how and benefits.

Inspired the very next day I got out of bed at 6am, found a spot on the balcony with the cushion, set the timer and I was away. My monkey mind went crazy with all the things I had to do in the day ahead, but it was ok Annet said it would be like that for a while.  Every day I practised and then one day after 6 months of persistence I found the space she had talked about. Calmness that I had not felt before, but then experienced often after that day. I went to 10 mins a day so I could enjoy that feeling of emptiness and quietness. Today I can meditate for 30-40 mins. Some days are better than others with my thoughts, but what was truly amazing is the time to reflect is the most valuable teacher. So often now in meditation I can see where I am going wrong, whereas before the emotions, inner critic and monkey mind left me with no ability to reflect.

At work in stressful situations I can find that calmness quickly, allowing to expend little emotional energy. Through meditation I was able to let go of the personal pain and really seek to understand the other person. The process of letting go takes practice, Forgiveness is easy when there is no emotional attachment to a situation.

Forgiveness is critical to being a great leader, there are many times when I have almost given up on someone and seen them realise what they need to do to change the future. My experience is that great leaders believe in others and allow people the room to reflect and grow. Poor leaders, see this person is not performing its reflecting on me, so I need to take action. Self serving leaders have a short shelf life as staff turnover is inevitable.

How quickly can you forgive?

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Career Change Career planning Coaching Leadership Legacy Mentoring Networking Personal development

Help your team realise their dreams

There is a lot of discussion on finding work in what you love doing, is it a good thing or not?

I have had the privilege of working with Jane Ron and John (names changed) all had a passion and it was not what they were doing as a job.

John was a cloud specialist and well regarded by his peers and customers. Every hour outside work was spent filming and editing music videos. When I had my 1;1 s I would ask him how the videos were going and his eyes would light up. One day I said to him, I don’t want to lose you, but I sense you are not fulfilled by your role. John said I would love to make the filming and editing full time, but I am scared of giving up my job.  I said what if you could work 3-4 days a week and spend a day on your filming. John was over the moon, this would be perfect, I can see if this works out for me, whilst working in my role.  Within a month John was working 1-2 days a week on his filming business and 6 months late he was full time, doing what he loved.

As a leader there are many lessons here:

  • helping people realise their dreams is leadership
  • this is a true test of Trust between you and your team member, especially if it is not aligned to what they are doing today
  • other employees are inspired by the leadership as it is focused at the heart of any business the people
  • transitioning is easier to manage than someone resigning, you can plan and ensure the transition is seamless.

A few years later Jane worked in one of the sales teams I led and was a Environmentalist to the core. She was in a sales role and successful, but it was not wanted she really wanted to be doing.  In a mentoring session I asked her to bring some of her passions to the role IE getting everyone on board with recyclable coffee cups. She did many side projects but it was not enough to change how she felt. I encouraged to look at a number of organisations where her passion would be fulfilled and introduced her to people I knew in the field. She finally landed her dream job.  I lost a great sales person, but helped someone pursue their passion.   When I read Jane’s post on linked I am so proud of what she achieved and feel good that I was able to assist her on the journey.

Around the same time Ron one of the Sales managers told me he had been doing sales management for over a decade and was looking to the future where he wanted a operational role in the company. I connected Ron with a mentor in Operations, where I thought they would be an excellent fit in terms of personality and temperaments.  A year later Ron secured the role he wanted in  operations. During that time we worked through Ron’s replacement. A 12 month run way is plenty of time to ensure the successor is ready.

Help your team realise their dreams

 

 

Categories
Mentoring

How to be a great Mentee?

Having mentors inside and outside the business you are in, is one of the keys to a succesful career.

Once you have secured a mentor, here are the three things you need to do:

 1. Schedule your session monthly, bi- monthly with your mentor(whatever you have agreed), Don’t wait for your mentor to do it, as they are usually senior people with conflicting priorities.

 2. Be prepared for your session. What have you achieved since your last meeting with your mentor? what did you implement and how did that work for you? What is challenging you? What are your goals? What obstacles are there in achieving your goals? 

3. Summarise your actions in the meeting or call and follow up with an email promptly. 

 Are you a great Mentee?