The words of Sharon’s boss at her funeral, will never leave me. He said “She never ever spoke ill of anyone” a rare trait that set her apart from others. Those words are inspiring and an important lesson for us all. Her boss himself admitted to running down others and he hated himself for the trait. A trait most people have.￼
Judgement is a terrible human trait, that leads to poor behaviors that really has an impact on how we interact with others.
I never forget 6 years ago when Phil Crenigan my Business coach encouraged me to raise money for the homeless at the CEO sleep out. The evening of the sleep out people from all walks of life speak up about the events that led them to be homeless and then the loneliness of homelessness. Up until that point I would not make eye contact with homeless people, let alone hold a conversation, that day changed me forever and since then I always say hello and pass the time of day, and often give food or coffee. My judgement has gone and been replaced with a deep understanding of others who are less fortunate.
Not only do we need to ‘seek to understand, before we are understood’ a famous Dale Carnegie saying, we need to center ourselves in others focusing on there needs not our own.
When someone is criticizing another person, not in there presence, you have to ask yourself, do they do that about you when you are not there? My question always is, have you shared the feedback with the person? if not, why not? Feedback is critical for people to improve.
Don’t speak ill of others, none of us are perfect.